Sometimes when you take a break from writing or updating it’s not just because you don’t have things to write about. Sometimes it’s because you have too many things going on too much on your mind and too much weighing on your heart.
What makes that even harder is when you don’t realize that that’s what’s going on. I’ve had so much going on in my life I hadn’t stopped to actually think about my life and I found the things that I enjoy such as writing fall away.
Sometimes you find yourself taking stock in your own life and realize that it’s not where you want it to be.
Now before anybody gets worried I love my wife and I love my children and they aren’t the root of problem, I am. It doesn’t mean to say that there is always room for change in that dynamic, but unless I start that change with myself I can’t make my relationships with them the way I want them to be.
I recently got out it’s 1 of those facebook groups, one of those “You know you’re from…” groups. When I first got added I couldn’t get enough. It made me start wondering what my life would a been like if I had never left. I thought it might be fun to live there again.
Then Reality hits and you realize you can’t go back again, and that what’s done is done; what’s past is past. I do stay in touch with many of the people from there but I know it wouldn’t be the same. We have all moved on, and forged our own lives.
Now I don’t visit that group as often, because remembering the past will not help me make my future what I wanted to be. It won’t make me the husband and father my family need, and most of all it won’t make me who I want to be.
So now my most important thing taking stock in myself and remember who it is I wanted to be when I was there so many years ago. I had a vision, and a goal, and now I need to figure out how to become that person, and to live up to the expectations I had for that person.