I have realized that being a father, a Dad, a parent has taught me many things. Things about myself, things about my family, and things about the world. Many of these things were right in front of me the whole time but I never saw them. The hardest part of that lesson is that I don’t really like everything I see.
Before I was a father I always had visions or plans of what type of father I would be, how I would react, how I would handle situations, what type of husband I would be. It was all planned out. I would take the best of my parents, and the best of all the other parents I had seen, and that would be me. After all I had learned so much that I would be an awesome Dad right? Well I was wrong, because I forgot on key element.
Life is funny, because when it is going well we don’t give things much thought, we just kind of move along and take those little things for granted, that things will always be there, that we will always have those things that we want.
Of course if life is not going well we suddenly focus on all of those things we don’t have, and how we miss them and suddenly they do become a source of focus. We can actually get very bitter about missing them, and upset that we don’t have them, and that can become consuming.
So I have fallen into the second category. Some through various faults of my own, such as poor planning, and probably a bit of a lack in foresight, but there are also various things that happened that forced me into where I am.
The hard part is that when that happens those plans on the type of husband and father you are going to be change, and then they become less easy, and the idea of parenting becomes more work.
So in this series I am going to share what I see as those little bits of wisdom those lessons I have learned from fatherhood, and how they have changed me.
How has Fatherhood changed you?