Build Tomorrow - Another Day Of Life

So here we are in the here and now, today.  You have now followed all of the stages of my fanacial life.

“In The Beginning”

“Addiction of Instant Gratification”

“Going Down to the Bottom”

“Redemption Part I”

“The Market Meltdown”

“A Life Complete”

“Falling”

Once my wife needed to stay home with the older child we began to struggle.  We found that many of the things we needed became almost luxuries.  We found that the loss of income hurt and with each small disaster came an even bigger debt.

That brings us to today.  It finally reached the point where if an emergency arose, we couldn’t handle it.  We are operating in the red each month, and never seeming like we are going to get above water.  Each time I look at the children I feel guilt.  Guilt over the legacy I am heading them into.

They say sometimes that you must hit the bottom in order to claw you way out.  I need to start clawing.

I need to do a lot.  The debt has taken its toll on me, my family, my marriage.  While the 70K is a dollar figure, it’s the non-monetary cost that is the most expensive.  I don’t want to pay that price anymore.  So I hope you continue to follow me, as I take the “Road to Today”, and use it to “Build Tomorrow”, for myself, and my family.

Who knows maybe I can help someone else.

~Another Day

I had hoped to post the final entry in the “Road to Today” series today, but will not be able to due to some site/time issues. I plan to be back up sometime tomorrow.

~Another Day

Welcome to this week’s Way Back Wednesday. This week is a look at classic television. Many of these shows exist in syndication today, showing that “older” does not mean no longer good entertainment.

Mr. Ed

Mister Ed was an American television comedy that aired on CBS from 1961 to 1966. Mister Ed was the first series ever to debut as a midseason replacement. The stars of the show were Mister Ed, an intelligent talking palomino (”played” by Bamboo Harvester and voiced by Allan Lane), and his owner, architect Wilbur Post (portrayed by Alan Young). Much of the program’s humor stemmed from the fact Mister Ed would speak only to Wilbur. Today we would medicate Wilbur and call him schizophrenic.

Bewitched

Bewitched was a comedy on ABC from 1964 to 1972 for eight seasons. The show stars Elizabeth Montgomery, Dick York (1964–1969), Dick Sargent (1969–1972), and Agnes Moorehead In 2002, TV Guide named Bewitched as the 50th Greatest Television Program of All Time.The premise was based on the mixed marriage of a nose-twitching witch, Samantha Stephens (Montgomery), and her mortal husband, Darrin (originally played by Dick York and later by Dick Sargent). The series, a comedy, portrayed how true love can endure the most difficult of situations, even between a witch and a human. If my wife were a witch then the house would always be clean!

I Dream Of Jeannie

I Dream of Jeannie was a sitcom with a fantasy premise. It originally aired on NBC from 1965 to 1970. The show ran for five seasons and produced 139 episodes. The premise was around an Astronaut that found a Genie, named Jeannie, and by releasing her had her to fulfill his wishes. Boy do I want a Genie.

Father Knows Best

Father Knows Best was originally a radio show in the 50’s and 6-‘s that made the leap to television. Of the radio cast only Robert Young remained when the TV series began on CBS in 1954. It ran until 1960, and appeared on all three of the television networks. It portrayed the Andersons, the ideal American middle class family of the time.

That’s way back Wednesday for this week. See everyone next week for another exciting Way Back Wednesday!

~Aslan

So we have covered what my life was from childhood until my marriage (#2), in 2006.  You have heard the gory details.  I may have put you to sleep, maybe generated a small tear in your eye, and even made you roll your eyes.  So to recap, here are the areas of my life broken down into rather wordy entries.

“In The Beginning”

“Addiction of Instant Gratification”

“Going Down to the Bottom”

“Redemption Part I”

“The Market Meltdown”

“A Life Complete”

So I got married.  Life was good.  School was coming.  As it approached we noticed the 13 year old seemed to be obsessing over it.  He was beginning to repeatedly go over his schedule, the details, how many kids were there, exactly what time would he be picked up, and on and on.  Mind you this is July.  While we had known he was an introverted personality, we had no idea of the firestorm that was coming.  Even better with a change of ownership at my wife’s company, came all new leadership, including her position.  So she found herself on the job market.  Luckily she quickly landed a contract position through the end of the year.  We were going to be ok.

Then School started.  We both took the day off to revel in our children’s success at returning to school the younger child LOVED it.  He couldn’t stop talking about it.  Then came pickup time for the older one.  He lasted all of 2.2 seconds after getting in the car before he had a total and complete meltdown.  The tears didn’t stop for almost nine hours. Each day got worse.  Then the news came from the school.  Both had reading delays, and the older one severe.

As the weeks went by my wife was repeatedly called to retrieve the older child from school, as he had ended up in the counselor’s office having what were extensive panic attacks.  We began to meet with the schools about their reading and educational delays.  Both it was determined needed extensive “re-training”.  Translation private tutoring for the school year to the tune of $24,000.  Or $12,000 apiece for specialized tutoring.  That couldn’t be budgeted for, so in debt we went.  Then began the therapy and medication for the older child.

He was diagnosed with severe depression, OCD, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder.  Masked during his home-school years, and then exaggerated by puberty.  As the process began the meltdowns continued.  We finally after many battles everyone determined that the older child would be placed on home based instruction for the remainder of the school year.  It started out ok, but as the year went on the schedule got tougher.  When my wife’s contract ended in December of 2007 we found that there was no way for her to work, while managing the chaotic schedule of psychologists, psychiatrists, and meetups with teachers, and tutoring.  The hope was that she would return to work as soon as things settled down.  They didn’t.

By the time the school year ended we found ourselves $40,000 in debt.  It was not ideal but manageable.

Then the final straw came.  The boy’s father took my wife to court over the child support.  Basically if he was going to pay it he wanted to pay less.  He made it clear that if she fought him on money he would restart a custody fight.  Another $15,000 later, he agreed to allow an adoption.  While it wasn’t ideal it was the right thing for the children.

Then in June we found out we were expecting.  My wife went back to work, and we hoped for the best.

Then came the realization that our debt has reached 70K.

Tomorrow is the final chapter in the “Road to Today.”

~Another Day

“In The Beginning”

“Addiction of Instant Gratification”

“Going Down to the Bottom”

“Redemption Part I”

“The Market Meltdown”

In the spring of 2004 I found myself on my own once again.  My divorce split my debt, as well as my savings in half.  It was an amicable divorce.  Though I was devastated with the discovery of my soon to be ex-wives’ relationship with someone I considered a friend, making the process filled with animosity and anger, it was not going to help the situation at all.  I decided to let it go.

I found myself enjoying the single life.  I was home in the evenings and relieved to not have to try and make small talk with someone I had nothing in common with.  There were plenty of nights I found myself eating a dinner of cereal, because I wanted to.

Financially while there were effects of now being a one income household, I was not in the red, though I was not overrun with extra money.  I put the customary 10% in savings each month.  I paid my bills, and took my life one day at a time.

I never became a partier.  I never went back to my old ways.  I allowed myself the occasional wants, but generally concentrated on my needs.  I was content.

Then in 2005 a life changing event happened.  I met someone.  She was very different from my ex-wife.  We were almost exactly the same age, and talked for hours.  I heart we both had the same dreams, the same aspirations, and the same moral fiber.  The only sticking point was the fact that she had two children.

I was still in a place that made me unsure about dating a woman with children.  But the more time I spent with them the more I felt that something I had always felt was missing wasn’t missing anymore.  Time went on and we grew closer.  The situation was made easier by the fact that the boys father wasn’t in the picture.  They hadn’t seen him in a year, and neither was anxious to.  We began to do things together, and function as if we were a family.  She was successful at her job, and had a great head on her shoulders.

I was in love, deeper that ever before.

In February of 2006 I proposed.  We had both had our “big” wedding, and decided we would cap out wedding cost at $3,000.  The cash we had to spend.  Also in order to make sure it would work for the children we rented a house that we got an incredibly good deal on and moved in together.  In the moths prior to the wedding we saved for our honeymoon, which we paid cash for, and saved for a family vacation.

While we couldn’t pay cash up front, we utilized my timeshare as a trade keeping the lodging cost down.  Me being the ever diligent budgeter we were able to pay it off within 60 days, which was acceptable by my standards.

We were married in a small ceremony in July of 2006.  We had our family vacation, and readied ourselves for our new lives.  We decided that the children who had been home-schooled would return to the public schools, and life was good.

Then September came, and everything changed.

More Tomorrow.

~Another Day